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Ascend @ascendemmy
20 Jun, 26
Ascend @ascendemmy
20 May, 26
Just to make sure you ain’t gonna steal their office chair and disappear
Nix @hasfah
20 May, 26
The universe doesn't have a moral compass
St. Mgume @iammgume
20 May, 26
Why are we here?
St. Mgume @iammgume
20 May, 26
How do you make the gods laugh?
Make a plan!
St. Mgume @iammgume
20 Apr, 26
Them: Nothing is permanent.
HIV:
Nix @hasfah
20 Apr, 26
At what stage does the storm get over?
St. Mgume @iammgume
20 Apr, 26
We learn from history that we do not learn from history.
St. Mgume @iammgume
20 Apr, 26
I've come to realise that I might've rushed to buy a wallet!
St. Mgume @iammgume
20 Apr, 26
The pain of wanting to quit but you remember that you don't like and know how to dig.

And to make matters worse, you don't have where to dig!
St. Mgume @iammgume
20 Apr, 26
You had to be there!
St. Mgume @iammgume
20 Apr, 26
St. Mgume @iammgume
20 Apr, 26
And Einstein was called "coo-coo" when he said that time was relative!
Guess you'd have bailed him out, had you existed during his time!
Nix @hasfah
20 Apr, 26
Well I still have 6 years to go
St. Mgume @iammgume
20 Mar, 26
I put my soul on LinkedIn… got endorsed for “professional despair".
St. Mgume @iammgume
20 Mar, 26
Death called… I didn’t pick up. It left a voicemail: “See you soon".
Nix @hasfah
20 Mar, 26
The art of thinking. it is all gone. I mean gone gone.
St. Mgume @iammgume
20 Mar, 26
Talk about being as useful as a waterproof teabag!
Marie @marie
20 Mar, 26
Me getting shot at for nothing. 🙌
Marie @marie
20 Mar, 26
Keeping quiet doesn’t always mean the ones arguing are fools and you’re wise. Sometimes you’re just too stupid to understand the topic of argument or have anything relevant to say.
😂😂
Marie @marie
20 Mar, 26
St. Mgume @iammgume
20 Mar, 26
Her: You're so handsome
Me: Thanks!
Her: I'd love to meet you one day.
Me: Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal saviour?
Her: Yes!
Me: Then we shall meet.
Her: When and where?
Me: In heaven!
St. Mgume @iammgume
20 Mar, 26 (E)
Ladies and gentlemen....
Welcome to GUILT TRIPPIN' 101.
St. Mgume @iammgume
20 Mar, 26
I just learned that one has to pay to join a running club.....
What are you gonna do if I just start running behind you guys, huh?
Marie @marie
20 Mar, 26
😂😂
St. Mgume @iammgume
20 Mar, 26
Get that tattoo and have that nose pierced!
Your family's already disappointed in you, anyway!
St. Mgume @iammgume
20 Mar, 26
What makes a grown man wanna cry... Tears of joy!!!!
St. Mgume @iammgume
20 Mar, 26
Ascend @ascendemmy
20 Mar, 26
Spoken like a true Ceaser 😂
St. Mgume @iammgume
20 Feb, 26
For starters, the god of compounding....