22nd February 2026

She was here today.

She seemed in a good mood — or maybe I just assumed she was because there were no mood swings, no sharp edges, no sudden storms. Everything was flowing smoothly. Predictable. Safe.

At some point, our conversation drifted into one of her vivid monologues. The kind where she paints a full scene .
She was building something intimate.(Or I assumed she was)

And I was drifting.

I’ve realised I have this tendency — once she settles into speaking at length, my mind detaches. Not intentionally. Not maliciously. It just… leaves. I catch fragments instead of meaning. Words instead of emotion.

The last thing I properly registered was:

“…looking at me in the eyes whilst administering slow strokes… ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION?”

And truth be told, I wasn’t.

And the worst part is not that I didn’t hear her.

It’s that I knew I hadn’t been fully there for a while.